Nice people who watch me try to cardio: "What's your secret?"
Me:
^The bananas are my husband's. I don't like bananas.
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Sunday, January 26, 2020
Anal Sex...uality Joke
If you say you've always been "comfortable" with your sexuality, your sexuality has obviously never involved your back door.
^I'm actually having this thought while working out whether I need to 💩. I've been eating a lot though so so the contemplation of impending anal discomfort is currently an appropriate one.
Monday, January 20, 2020
Dentist Joke
My husband almost told our dentist he'd probably have a better time with me because my mouth is bigger. Last week, he was in my husband's mouth for just under an hour. I think he finished slightly faster in mine today. 🤔
Sunday, January 19, 2020
111 for the USA?
"I'm not sure" 🤣
In all seriousness though, I know we have things like WebMD, but do we have any 24 websites or hotlines as effective as the UK's 111 in the USA? If so, what? If not, why not? I know people whose lives might've been saved with access to/knowledge of something like this, and it would've personally saved me a lot of headache (quite literally) as well. I'm sure it's been thought about and must either exist nationwide or have good reasons why not, but I'd like to know the details so people - myself included - can be better helped.
https://digital.nhs.uk/services/nhs-111-online
Dad Joke
As a father, I'm not sure I could bear to give my daughter away at her wedding. I'd have to charge. #dadjoke
Wussy Americans Are Bailing on Booze. People Like Me Are Picking Up Their Slack
It's okay, I'm used to picking up the slack.
(Disclosure: despite evidence to the contrary, I'm probably not actually an alcoholic. 😝)
Friday, January 17, 2020
"Kinky Drinky" Boozy Bonding Game
New drinking and bonding game idea for couples, romantic partners, or even friends who are up to it:
-Partner 1: Come up with a kink or naughty fantasy and describe it to Partner 2/everyone else. It can be something you actually enjoy or want to try OR you can bluff and come up with something you have no desire to do. Hilarious, disgusting, shocking - use your imagination!
-Partner 2/everyone but Partner 1: Guess whether Partner 1 actually enjoys/wants to try the kink or fantasy described OR is bluffing.
-Sips!! If Partner 2/anyone guesses incorrectly, they take a sip of whatever they're drinking. (Swap sips for shots for shorter game.)
-Trade or, if you're playing with more than 2 people, rotate as you see fit so everyone gets a turn.
The game requires open minds and is based on honesty.
Customize and get as creative as you want.
For you teetotalers: choose whatever rewards or punishments float your boats in lieu of sips and shots.
Thursday, January 16, 2020
"He Was In My Mouth" xD
I walked in on Sean talking to his dad. Without context, I heard," he was in my mouth for under an hour" ....O_o
Turns out he was talking about his dental appointment this morning. LOL
Tuesday, January 14, 2020
41 of the Best Referral Links and Codes: Chase, Mercari, Free Stocks, Cash Back, Robinhood, GrubHub, and Much More
LOTS of coupon codes and referral links for you deal hunters, money makers, and side hustlers:
-Mercari: Get $10 off when you sign up with the following invite code: PDMKVA
Register at: https://www.mercari.com/dl
-Poshmark: Get $5 credit when you sign up using the following coupon code: BONNIE6180
-Wish: Get up to 50% off your first order using the following coupon code: hhfscrs
-Raise: Get $5 free credit when you sign up for an account using the following referral code: aewing
-Cash: Cash is the best way to send money for free. Enter the code FQKNJDV when you sign up and we'll send you $5 when you try it. https://cash.me/app/about
-Samsung Pay: Get $5 when you enter the following code before your 1st purchase: 38BB31
-Robinhood: Join Robinhood and get a share of stock like Apple, Ford, or Sprint for free when you use the following invite link: http://share.robinhood.com/aletae
-Webull: Open a Webull brokerage account and receive ONE (1) free stock valued between $2.5-$250! Deposit ANY amount and get an additional free stock valued between $12-$1400! https://bit.ly/37Q1F2Z (case sensitive)
-Firstrade: Join Firstrade today get a free stock! Use the following link to claim the stock without having to invest money first: https://share.firstrade.com/AletaM0WG
‐M1 Finance: With M1, you can automatically invest in what you want for free. Try it today and get $20 to invest! https://mbsy.co/Lwm27
-Dough: Use this link to download the dough app and get a free share of stock! https://bit.ly/38Z63N9 (case sensitive)
-SoFi Invest: SoFi Invest 📊 allows you to buy and sell stocks (and pieces of stocks) with zero fees. Open an Active Investing account with $5,000 or more, and you'll get $100 in stock! Use my link: https://www.sofi.com/share/invest/2731202
-SoFi Loans: Apply for a SoFi Personal Loan or a SoFi Student Loan Refi and you can get a $100 welcome bonus: https://www.sofi.com/share/2731202
-Uber: Free ride up to $15. Use the following code when you sign up: aletae19ue
-Lyft: Get $2 off your first 10 rides. Download the Lyft app using the following link: https://lyft.com/iaa/ALETA43252
-Uber Eats: Hungry? Get $15 off your first #UberEats order when you use my code: eats-aletae19ue. Download the app to order: ubr.to/ordereats
-Bite Squad: Get $5 off your first food delivery order using the following coupon code: 3D4-0QF9-S9HD
bit.ly/2toRJys (case sensitive)
-GrubHub: Get $12 off your first-time Grubhub order of $15+: bit.ly/37PxOYx (case sensitive)
-DoorDash: Get $7 credit after you sign up using the the following invite link: http://drd.sh/vPFgnb/
-Postmates: Get $10 delivery fee credit when you sign up with the following coupon code: HAGYQX
-Instacart: Get $10 free grocery credit at Instacart: https://inst.cr/t/2vy2KYHZp
Referral code: G7BD61B194
-Roadie: Join Roadie and use the following invite link to get a $10 credit on your first Gig. bit.ly/2OhKQGw (case sensitive)
-Ebates: Get cash back for shopping on Ebates! Sign up with the following invite link for a $10 bonus when you shop at over 2,000 stores like eBay, Macy's & Walmart. ebates.com/r/CODERE84
-Ibotta: Check out Ibotta and get cash back! Install using the following invite link and you will get an extra $10: https://ibotta.com/r/ixffduw
-Drop: Check out join Drop, the free app that’s giving away millions in cash rewards every day! Use my code jezez to get $5 - no strings attached. https://b.ewd.io/code?c=jezez
-Fetch: Turn your grocery receipts into gift cards with Fetch Rewards. Use my referral code, M5NNH, during signup and you'll get $2 in points just for starting.
Download Fetch Rewards free here: https://cutt.ly/rrIqgUy (case sensitive)
-GivingAssistant: Get $5 credit after you sign up using the the following invite link: https://givingassistant.org/?rid=GCy6rRpbdH
-Dosh: Get $5 credit after you sign up using the the following invite link: https://link.dosh.cash/YCLI/wsCuHYrPVH
-BeFrugal: Get $10 credit after you sign up using the the following invite link: https://www.befrugal.com/referral/?ref=MQVJLAG
-Chase Bank: Earn up to $350
when you open a new Chase Total Checking® and/or a new Chase Savings account with qualifying activities by January 13, 2019. Start here: https://accounts.chase.com/raf/share/854836905
-Gas Buddy: Get at least 5c/gal off every fuel purchase and an extra 10c/gal off your 1st fill-up. Join Pay with GasBuddy for free and use the following code: EC5NMBZ
Sign up here: https://cutt.ly/MrIqsf4 (case sensitive)
-Fuel Rewards: Save 5¢/gal on every fill-up with Gold Status at Shell! Join the Fuel Rewards program to get started. bit.ly/2th55wu (case sensitive)
-Airbnb: Get $40 credit after you sign up using the the following invite link: bit.ly/36PB9oQ (case sensitive)
-NiceDiscount: Get your Amazon purchases massively discounted or free just for leaving a review! Simple, straightforward way to grab truly incredible deals and knock out your shopping list! bit.ly/37SlOp1 (case sensitive)
-Accelerant Research: Sign up for the current research study and receive $200 when you participate in an interview: https://cutt.ly/9rIqfQh (case sensitive)
-Arcadia Power: Arcadia Power is a digital utility - a company that manages your electric bill and helps you find ways to save money and support clean energy. Sounds good, right? Sign up through the following link and save up to $25 on your next utility bill! Link: www.arcadiapower.com/aleta17743
-Achievement: Connect apps and earn cash rewards for doing healthy activities. Use this link and you'll be able to earn money by connecting Health and Fitness apps! http://tinyurl.com/y4us73sy
-Sweatcoin: Sweatcoin is a digital currency (cryptocurrency). You earn Sweatcoin through an app on your phone by walking or running. It tracks your outdoor steps throughout the day and rewards you with 1 SWC (1 Sweatcoin) per 1,000 steps you make: sweatco.in/hi/aleta447444
UK:
-OhMyDosh: Frugal friends in the UK: If you haven't yet, check out OhMyDosh for an epic way to earn cash back and find great deals! Get your signup bonus by using my link: https://ohmydosh.co.uk/validate/refer_a_friend/welcome/188069?keyword=referred&epi=OMD-CO-218-188069-24539227-5219482
-Glasses Direct: £30 off frames priced £49+
https://glassesdirect.mention-me.com/m/ol/bm4wz-aleta-ewing
-Shopmium: Get a free Nutella jar! Download the Shopmium app and use my referral code 2ji5y 😊 https://www.shopmium.com/uk/referral/2ji5y
Monday, January 13, 2020
Don't Miss Your Chance
If you died now, what doable thing would you most regret not having done? Go do that.
^My cliché advice for the day.
Stop with the Free Shirts!
I wouldn't mind not getting a shirt for every 5k, school event, and outing I ever participate in. I've got heaps of shirts nowhere near my size from events that seem to shove them down people's throats. While having badass shirts to remember and represent things that matter is pretty awesome, I'd love for it to be seen as less of an event staple and more of an individually selected add-on, kind of the way most large dance game events seem to do nowadays. Not only do unwanted shirts burden the recipient but they drive up event costs and lead to unmanageable and unnecessary textile waste. In fact, I've NOT registered for races before because they advertised free t-shirts with entry and I knew I'd be stuck with another shirt I wouldn't know what to do with if I took part. Don't get me wrong, some of my race shirts are the coolest and most useful pieces of clothing I own. Sharing a shirt design before the event and allowing attendees to decide whether to pay a bit extra and select their size if they want a shirt would make a hell of a difference though.
Sunday, January 12, 2020
Use Your Clothes Til They Die!
Screw fashion. Use those old clothes til they die!
^Says me with a closet heaving with shirts from the 90s til now and a mountain of pants to match. Maybe I'll learn to make quilts..out of technical tops and sports bras? At least they're not in landfill..right?! 😂
(In case you couldn't tell, @VoiceAloudReader is keeping me company today, reading me lots of stuff while I work.)
https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2018-01-15/no-one-wants-your-used-clothes-anymore
Friday, January 10, 2020
I'm Still Learning Spanish!
I think I'm doing it wrong. I should know like 4 languages by now. 🤣
In all seriousness, I'm much less shit at Spanish than I figured my slow ass self would ever be. My attention is divided, amongst other things, between learning both profitable and personal skills so this one's taking me awhile. I do vary my learning methods pretty well so I will get it down. Just gotta keep at it. 💪
Wednesday, January 8, 2020
Fight, but be extraordinarily strategic.
Within you, you have an army at your disposal. It's made up of your power, intellect, cunning, and other strengths, but there's little point in having an army if you won't use it to defend what matters most. Even the most well-fortified armies have a limit to their resources, however. Be extraordinarily strategic. While it's important that you do take a stand, choose your battles wisely. If you're always fighting, you'll have nothing left for the battles that really count.
Keep in mind:
Many conflicts will resolve naturally by addressing a bigger issue.
Taking the time to step back, breathe, and think on occasion will make you stronger and wiser. Allow yourself time to resupply and you'll find the results yielded when you must fight will more than compensate for the downtime.
Sunday, January 5, 2020
Living Space: Size Matters
We too have specific spatial size needs. When we live, work, or exist in spaces too large or small or poorly suited to our needs, a lot of time and energy is wasted adapting and compensating. Keep this in mind next time you're house hunting for that mansion with the mile-long driveway or apartment shopping and trying to convince yourself that that place the size of a closet will do. Things all have their pros and cons and the tradeoffs weigh in differently for each person, but if you have to shop daily because you don't have room to store a few household essentials or if your house is so big you can't recall the last time you ventured to the other half of it, reassessing might be prudent.
Saturday, January 4, 2020
Wide-On!
"Wide-on"! You learn something new every day. xD Maybe I'm late to the party but I've never heard, or at least never picked up on, this term before. I've been hearing it all over in the UK lately though and finally had to Google. Ladies: how excited are you to start using this? Lol Personally, I'm pretty happy to have another alternative to the boring old options like lady boner, compulsory 'V', and wet. Next time your dude's dripping with sweat post-workout and pulls his shirt off, causing you to do a V for victory, remember the wide-on!
Friday, January 3, 2020
Without Birth Control, I Might Just About Be A Grandma
If tubal ligation and other forms of birth control didn't exist, I'd currently be the proud mother of like 16 children and counting. Food for thought. O_o
Thursday, January 2, 2020
I'll Be An Old Dance Gamer
I'm slowly omw to becoming the Mark Felix of the dance game/stamina ITG community and I'm pretty okay with it. 🤣
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