NSFW Dream: The Weiner...Popped Off

NSFW dream from last night:

The husband and I were sitting next to each other in the same high school class, and I started giving him a sneaky hj. Apparently, I was too aggressive though because his pork sword suddenly popped off, and he had to be rushed to the hospital to have it reattached. 🧐 

How Are You Not Still Hungry in the Morning?!

Common occurrence: My husband and I both fall asleep HUNGRY, craving a full roast dinner or some savory equivalent. I wake up 8 hours later and eat exactly that. He wakes up and has a bowl of cereal. O_o Wtf happens to this man in the night?!

Late Periods: Go In And Get 'Em

It amuses me that a penis can be either the reason for or solution to a late period. Fortunately for me, I no longer have to stress about anyone's third leg causing me to miss a period and am now able to fully focus on chuckling at the way my husband consistently manages to dig out a late period at its first sign of tardiness instead. Seriously, I'm just blown away that going in and digging it out that way actually works without fail, at least for us. 😂

Thank You For Being Here

Some of you have never seen me lose my shit. Others can't fathom a version of me with her shit together. All of you are still here despite whatever "me" I've given you to know. Thank you so much for that.

Garmin Watch "Move" Bar: Lend a Hand to Clear

Fyi the Garmin watch "Move" bar also gets cleared if you use the arm you're wearing it on for brushing your teeth or...similar motions. 🤭 Thanks (and you're welcome) to my husband for helping me to discover that.