Now Is Great

I lack the vision to see forever, but I see right now as clear as day, and the next chapter's forecast is looking just as bright. 💞 If the future can hold a candle to moments in time like these, I just might keep my eyes open.

Lol Mind dump made me think of this classic: https://youtu.be/MrHxhQPOO2c

Trying Me

Major epiphany of the night: if my people tolerance wasn't so low, my liquor tolerance might never have gotten this high.

New Mistakes Only

I can't wait to never make the same mistakes again.

Onward to those shiny, new ones. 😝

Period Way Early

Why is my period eight days early??? That's just...never been a thing for me. 

Deja Vu

Sometimes, you don't even know you're falling until somebody catches you.

Inescapable Love

I tried so hard not to love you. I might as well have tried to live without air. 

Warm Bodies, Always

Alone: something I've felt but nearly never been — not for long, anyway

One day, when the flying pigs circumnavigate a moon so blue the sky falls down, perhaps I'll try it.

❤

Change

I'm afraid of the sunset. Will I survive the darkness it leads me into long enough to bask in the rays of a new day?

Hell

Hell lies wherever your heart does not.

Duolingo at it Again

Oh, Duolingo 😂

Fucking People ❤

There are people you can't help but love, people you can't help but fuck, and people you can't help but fuck and love and fucking love to fucking fuck

Quote

"In a room where people unanimously maintain a conspiracy of silence, one word of truth sounds like a pistol shot." — Czeslaw Milosz, poet and novelist (30 Jun 1911-2004)

Duolingo at it Again

Oh, Duolingo 😂

Oh Henry! (Yes, I'm Nerdy af 😆)

Oh Henry! Getty over here, give me that chimichungus, and crank my pastry with your mad stamina til your longboi BaguetteStreamz all in my groove.

Consciously Chasing in Vain

Some of us wake up every day, excited to resume the chase of something we know in our hearts we'll never possess.

(Tying into my previous entry)

It's About The Chase

It's not at all uncommon for the sex to be better than the climax, the dream greater than its realization, the hunt more exciting than the catch, the journey more remarkable than the destination, the reach more passionate than the grasp. All other reasons aside, we long to long.

The Wrong Dreams

In the nightmares that plague me, I dread that which I once most depended upon for my happiness. In my few and fleeting, sweet dreams, I find myself where I have never been, in a moment I may never experience and have no business longing for

but these are only dreams.

Cutting Ties: From Trivial to Unfathomable

Strange, new-ish feeling for me: having humans — plural — I'd fight viciously to keep in my life and can't imagine life without. I've always struggled to develop real attachment to friends or family and historically only felt this for a max of one, rare person at a time. Times, they are a-changin'

I Am Capable

Holy shit, I am so much more powerful than I ever previously realized or believed. 😳 I CAN DO THINGS. It's important to know when to ask for help and to recognize the value in teamwork, but it turns out that finding out just how independently capable you can be and what you can accomplish on your own is such a priceless, exhilarating experience.

No One is Worth Your Self-Esteem

A worthy partner won't have you choosing between them and your self-esteem.

Quote

"The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably that which must also make you lonely." — Lorraine Hansberry, playwright and painter (19 May 1930-1965)

Thirsty. Oops

Had creatine, worked out, drank booze, forgot to hydrate, went to sleep thirsty, dreamt I was dying of thirst in the desert bc everyone else had comboed all the fluids in existence, woke up after 1.5 hours and chugged water for like a minute. Don't be me.

Actually, I Choose Happiness

You know what? I've done this before (high school friends may remember 😆); I can do it again. Happiness is *usually* more of a choice than you'd think, and I'm choosing it. I'm not saying I or anyone else can simply turn negative feelings off like a switch, but people can certainly make conscious effort to pull themselves out of a funk rather than wallowing in one. I'm not letting you "new year, new me" dudes have all the fun. Here I go:

Step 1: Opt for happier, more uplifting music over music that fits the mood. The mood can, and likely will, follow.

Step 2: TBA. In case any of this is helpful to any of you, I'll let you know when I figure it out! Otherwise, suggestions and input welcome. 😊

And let's actually do some resolutions this year. Maybe more, if anything else comes to mind, but for now, 2022 resolutions:

•Eggs in several baskets. Find five people who seem worthy of being good, close friends. Nurture those friendships.

•Don't let the wrong people too close.

•Find the light within again, inspire some positivity (for the first time in awhile? 😬), and lead the way to happiness when I find it again. Tall order, but it's not interesting if it's not challenging!

Oh! And

•Pass a 23 on ITG *or* run a sub 23-min 5k (I was sooo close a couple of years back! 😄), depending on whether I find myself needing a little step back from ITG stamina this year.

Okay, whew! Cringy, exposing, and kinda embarrassing, but sometimes that's what it takes. Onward! 😁