Nice people who watch me try to cardio: "What's your secret?"
Me:
^The bananas are my husband's. I don't like bananas.
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Sunday, January 26, 2020
Anal Sex...uality Joke
If you say you've always been "comfortable" with your sexuality, your sexuality has obviously never involved your back door.
^I'm actually having this thought while working out whether I need to 💩. I've been eating a lot though so so the contemplation of impending anal discomfort is currently an appropriate one.
Monday, January 20, 2020
Dentist Joke
My husband almost told our dentist he'd probably have a better time with me because my mouth is bigger. Last week, he was in my husband's mouth for just under an hour. I think he finished slightly faster in mine today. 🤔
Sunday, January 19, 2020
111 for the USA?
"I'm not sure" 🤣
In all seriousness though, I know we have things like WebMD, but do we have any 24 websites or hotlines as effective as the UK's 111 in the USA? If so, what? If not, why not? I know people whose lives might've been saved with access to/knowledge of something like this, and it would've personally saved me a lot of headache (quite literally) as well. I'm sure it's been thought about and must either exist nationwide or have good reasons why not, but I'd like to know the details so people - myself included - can be better helped.
https://digital.nhs.uk/services/nhs-111-online
Dad Joke
As a father, I'm not sure I could bear to give my daughter away at her wedding. I'd have to charge. #dadjoke
Wussy Americans Are Bailing on Booze. People Like Me Are Picking Up Their Slack
It's okay, I'm used to picking up the slack.
(Disclosure: despite evidence to the contrary, I'm probably not actually an alcoholic. 😝)
Friday, January 17, 2020
"Kinky Drinky" Boozy Bonding Game
New drinking and bonding game idea for couples, romantic partners, or even friends who are up to it:
-Partner 1: Come up with a kink or naughty fantasy and describe it to Partner 2/everyone else. It can be something you actually enjoy or want to try OR you can bluff and come up with something you have no desire to do. Hilarious, disgusting, shocking - use your imagination!
-Partner 2/everyone but Partner 1: Guess whether Partner 1 actually enjoys/wants to try the kink or fantasy described OR is bluffing.
-Sips!! If Partner 2/anyone guesses incorrectly, they take a sip of whatever they're drinking. (Swap sips for shots for shorter game.)
-Trade or, if you're playing with more than 2 people, rotate as you see fit so everyone gets a turn.
The game requires open minds and is based on honesty.
Customize and get as creative as you want.
For you teetotalers: choose whatever rewards or punishments float your boats in lieu of sips and shots.
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