We all have different strengths. Some of us are skilled at dealing with loss or bad break ups, staying in good spirits after getting laid off and having to try to support our family on next to nothing, remaining in good humor after breaking a leg or wrecking a car, pushing through the finish line of a 100 mile race despite running on fumes for the past 12 hours, keeping our head on when utterly lost in the wilderness, living life primarily out of our comfort zone, holding our breath for unbelievable lengths of time, making the hard calls when a patient's life is in our hands, staying calm under pressure, listening to the problems of everyone else while rarely getting the opportunity to voice our own, surviving extreme temperatures or elevations fatal to so many others, living our entire life in poverty, or getting by without seeing another human being for years. Some of these strengths may be attributed to genetics and the disposition of the individual while many are primarily a matter of conditioning — what a person is used to and how far from that what is currently being asked of them strays.
You might be the role model everyone looks up to, the athlete, the intellectual, and the rock everyone else relies on 365 days per year, but when you're forced to go a couple of months without a hug or even the beautiful distraction of a change of scenery, one unkind word can be your Achilles' heel. One forgotten anniversary or canceled annual get-together with friends might just serve as the straw that breaks the camel's back.
Some of us were near our limits before this all began. Some of us had already had our heads down, working and unintentionally socially distancing, as we pushed toward a goal with a spring break or a summer vacation — perhaps a celebration with friends or family — serving as our light at the end of the tunnel, until it was snatched away from us without warning. Imagine running a marathon and being half a mile from the finish, only to have it moved another 26 miles down the road with nowhere to resupply for the new distance demanded of you.
Most of us are dealing with a lot emotionally right now, so it's understandable if one little, typically insignificant thing sets you off or feels like a bigger deal than others think it should. As we all have different strengths, we also all have different ways of coping, different normals, different support systems (or lack thereof), and different extents to which this is affecting us. Also, it's impossible to know all past and present, internal and external, factors contributing to a person's current state of mind.
This should not be taken as a free pass to treat others badly because of your difficulties. Rather, it should serve as a reminder not to allow others to invalidate your feelings and to try to be compassionate about the way others are feeling, whether or not you personally understand them or can relate. Things that might not normally feel like a big deal tend to be magnified when people are at a low.
Going forward, don't forget that these principles will hold true long after COVID-19 has run its course.
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